Chapter 13: Dichotomy of Fortunes

Welcome to 2024! It’s been nearly 2 months since my invasive breast cancer diagnosis, and I’m still in the consultation faze, waiting for treatment to begin. Patience has never been a virtue I possess. I am a very impatient patient, so to speak. If I were to write the script, I would ride my Harley-Davidson right through the emergency room doors and demand an immediate mastectomy…by way of brute force and intimidation. Although an epic scenario, that’s not the way this works. Be patient, trust the process.
My best course of action now is to focus on things within my control and be grateful for the good fortune I do have.
During this time, my mind weaves through my dichotomy of fortunes. The unfortunate state of my internal health, intermingled with the fortunate circumstances of my external world.
The full extent of my cancer is still unknown. I may need additional surgeries, I may need chemotherapy. This will be determined after my initial mastectomy, once a full pathology is conducted on my tumor. This situation is out of my realm of control. I will attempt to put it out of my mind and cross these bridges if/when they present themselves.
What I do know: I will be out of commission for an extended time after my mastectomy, so I am relishing my able-bodiedness while I still have the luxury. Simple things like washing my own hair has now become a ritual I savor, because I will not be able to lift my arms above my head during my recovery. Thankfully, I have a loving husband who is willing to take over such tasks. But hey, on the plus side: I’ll still be able to wipe my own ass! The last time I was this excited about the ability to wipe my own ass, I was about 2 years old.
Among my fortunes, I have a devoted husband who is my comrade in arms, battling along side me in all aspects of adversity and crisis. My husband, along with my adult Son, my Dad, my Aunt Marie, my extended family, my In-Laws, my close friends, my work friends…they are my shield wall, they fortify me. My people are my strength. I am not alone.
I work for a great company that allows me the flexibility to work from home anytime it’s necessary, and gives me the time off needed to attend to my health. They provide excellent health insurance coverage, which grants me access the best cancer care available.
My care has been turned over to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN., which is the top ranked hospital in the world based on multiple surveys. There are people who travel as far as half-way around the world to receive care at Rochester Mayo, while I am a mere 40 minute drive away. The best cancer treatment I could possibly receive is in my metaphorical back yard. I won the Lottery of Proximity.
Another fortune I do not take for granted is my material prosperity. My husband and I earn a comfortable income, and have managed to squirrel away a decent nest egg. Because of this, we are prepared for the financial set-backs my cancer may cause us. We have a safe, well-maintained home. We have a pantry full of food. We have dependable vehicles. We have a garage filled with Harley-Davidson motorcycles waiting for me to commandeer once my cancer is killed.
Mentally, I’m tough as nails. You would never guess I was sick unless I told you. I do not wallow, I do not pout. I carry on as if I’m healthy. For example, I never call-out sick from work. The only time off I take is scheduled in advance: doctor’s appointments & vacation. The world doesn’t pause for me, so I must keep up. Sink or swim. I do not slow down unless I’m forced to. So, when it comes time for me to go under the knife (or undergo chemo if needed), it’s not going to take me long to get back in the saddle.
In a strange way, I am probably the best person to end up with cancer, as I have the all the ingredients to slay this shit!